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Okay, Christmas is over and the kids didn't like the too-dry dates and you bought too many walnuts and figs and stuff. Waste not, want not, Grandma Weber used to say, so let's get cracking.
In a heat-proof bowl put
1 1/3 cups of chopped, dried fruits (dates, figs, apricots, fill up with raisins)
1 teasp. soda
a good swig of that cheap whiskey your brother-in-law gave you for Christmas
another swig for good measure
Boil
1 cup of orange juice (note: it will bubble over, use a large pan)
Pour the juice over the fruit and let stand for half an hour or so.
In a large pan spread out
1/2 cup of chopped nuts (walnuts, pecans, almonds, don't use paranuts or peanuts)
Heat oven to 150° C (I think that is 325° F) and toast the nuts for about 10 minutes.
In a large mixing bowl combine
2 cups flour
1 1/2 teasp. baking powder
1/4 teasp. salt
1/2 teasp. cinnamon
1/2 cup of dark dark dark brown sugar
the toasted nuts
Add 1/2 cup of soft butter and use your clean hand to rub the mixture until it has a coarse consistency.
In another bowl beat two small eggs together with 1/4 teaspoon of REAL VANILLA powder. If you don't have that, use a teaspoon of vanillia extract.
Add the eggs to the flour mixture and just moisten. Add the fruit and juice mixture and just stir until mixed.
Pour into a well-greased loaf pan and bake at 180° C (350° F) and bake for 55-60 minutes. A toothpick inserted in the center should come out clean when it is done. Cool on a rack, slice, and serve with butter. If there is anything left, soak a paper towel in some more of that cheap whiskey, wrap it around the loaf, wrap that in a tea-towel and store in a cool place.
Now you can thank your brother-in-law with a straight face!