The other minister, Pastor Robbe, helped us make up the ceremony in English and in German (my family speaks no German, my husband's almost no English), and he posed the question of "Who brings this child to baptism" to ask me if I was doing it and to ask my husband (who is not a member of any church) if he was willing to let Rade be baptised. Many in the congregation were surprised that you could "change the wording" and we hope this gives other couples in this situation a way out - each respects the wishes of the other, I don't have to not baptise my son and my husband does not have to promise something he can't keep.
When we were asked "What name is given this child" we answered with an explanation that he is to keep the name his birth mother gave him and that we are giving him extra names from each of our families. That way we could include the birth mother in a sense in the ceremony, which was important for Rade.
He had a great day, even sat through the sermon (on "let the little children come to me") and was quite a grown-up little boy all day. He was, of course, thrilled with all the attention and presents, we had a big reception just like a wedding as a celebration of the baptism and the adoption, and we enjoyed ourselves, too. The day gave Rade quite a sense of belonging - belonging to us, to the grandparents and uncles and aunts that were there, to the friends (his and ours!) that came, and to the congregation that has at times had trouble accepting this rambunctious "foreigner" child (Germans have lots of trouble with people that don't look like they do...).